Them thar Big Girl Feels

Growing doesn’t always feel better, it takes time to adjust

Releasing feelings of being demanding and undeserving,

Then forgiving myself for accepting reassurance and reimbursement.

Release it all, let it go and feel it float away.

Away from trying to grasp with Petty fingers at every pretty thing.

Letting go of longing and dreams of faith and trust.

Releasing the demands of ego and lust.

Let float away my feelings, scatter ash and dust let the rain renew, let life ensue,

Effect a sign that says, “I’m healing, but it makes me miss the painful pleasure you inflict even more”

You Help me stop the inner dialogue that smothers me inside

While you Help me stop the self torment that punishes me for everything I decide

Then you Help me stop the personal shaming of all the things I enjoy

I know I can fix me for myself, yet I appreciate every bit of your help,

It’s not that you are perfect or anything ever is.

Yet you continuously amaze me as you guide me from my negative trends,

It’s not that I hope to cage you, or protect you from everything

It’s that we support and build upon the most important things

and that I look forward to more adventures while continuing to call you my friend.

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