All posts by nilkilla

Artist, Musician, Printer, Writer

Saying the loud parts quiet

I hope you enjoy your silence

A world without my sounds

I only meant to bring you happiness

But it seems I was too loud

I hope you enjoy the blank space

No more images from me

My only hope was to brighten your life

But it seems I was too loud

Now I’ll walk on tip-toe

Every effort not to disturb

I’ll strictly curate my output

Leaving the excess at the curb

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Forest of one

Demanding as a child,

I wait for each reply,

Constantly looking for validation,

Dreaming of the day,

You’ll never go away,

Pushing you away with every action.

Resplendent as a new day,

Someone new with whom to share,

Effervesce as the interests begin to rise

Sharing causing tingles of excitement,

Overflowing from me,

A flood of attention and desire

Unfurling like a bud blossoming,

All my truths spill out

Exposing my core

Rotten with the desperate need to fit in

The flies gather at the feast

A gluttony of spoiled ego

Drifting as if a leaf from a tree

Settling to the detritus below

Another friendship left to decay

Adding to the soil

Smothering each glimmer of hope

While building up the tree to stand alone

Crushing like the Earth on Atlas’s back

My need for attention builds up

Smothering any interest

Self destructive inclinations reinforcing what I know

I’m a burden, I’m overwhelming, I’m too much

I shouldn’t inflict me upon anyone

Intermittent Unrequited Date (pop)

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

I find you 

at the show 

I see you 

wherever you are

we dance together

we fly

Through the crowd

Passing time

At the show 

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

Another Dawn another day

Together we walk

Taking in sunlight

I’m right here

With you

Then it’s

To the store 

Then

To the shop 

Grab A coffee

Black with two sugars

We have so much in common 

We’re so familiar

We’ve grown so close

We are so alike

The further we’re apart

The more we need each other

I follow along

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

I’m. Here. With. You.

Off we go

To another show

This is the place

We’re settling down

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m here all casually

Edging along your line of sight

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

We bump into each other

Long time no see

I’m  Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

You head home

And lay down

Exhaustion steals you away

I’m Here with you

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

I’m here with you

I sneak in to steal a whiff

I inhale 

Then As you stir

I fade away

I fade away

I fade away

I fade away

You smell so much better when you’re asleep

Original Intermittent Unrequited Date

09/17/19

I see you 

at the show 

I find you 

wherever you are

we dance together

we fly

Through the crowd

Passing time

So familiar

The more we know

So close

The more we’re alike

So far

the less we feel 

So long

Another time

Another show

I follow along

Of we do

Together forever

Onto the show

This is the place

We’re settling down

Whether you know it or not

Casually here

Edging along your line of sight

Stealing across your conscious thought

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

I’m Here with you

Another Dawn another day

Together we walk

Taking in the sun light

I’m right here

With you

To the store 

To the shop 

A coffee and go

It’s so nice to come along

It’s great to have so mutch in common 

Then it’s back To the show

Bumping into you

Long time no see

Another chance to brush against you,  

Beauty

You lay down

Exhaustion s consumed you

I sneak in to steal a whiff

I inhale 

As you stir

I fade away

You smell so mutch better when you’re asleep

Nerve damage

Yes that’s me

The one who will

Do anything to please

Until I’m stretched out

Until it hurts

I’m in it for the pain

Scars have left me numb

It takes more than a little

To wake me up

I’m in it for the pain

Want a cut

A bit of burn

Scratch me up

Bite slap and punch me

I’m in it for the pain

Scars have left me numb

It takes more than a little

To wake me up

I’m in it for the pain

Tie me up

Twist the knot

Pinch me hard

Choke bind and whip me

I’m in it for the pain

Well okay…I’m proud

Proud of my race?

Proud of the color of the semen that met the egg?

The more you speak the more I know you’re wrong

Opinion makes up about as much fact as guessing the number in my head

Not even close! It’s my lone middle finger extended in your face

May as well be proud as the country that wiggling zygote met the egg

Oh wait…let me guess…I should be proud of that too?

The more you speak the more I know you’re wrong

Opinion makes up about as much fact as guessing the number in my head

Wrong again!

So close! Both my middle fingers standing in salute to your willful ignorance

Did you have to go to asshole school?

To earn your doctrine in apathy?

We’re all the same beings on Starship Earth

Proud of my race?

Proud of what color shows when light hits my skin?

Peel it all off and we’re all blood red

Proud of my birth?

Proud of my skin?

Proud of my birthplace?

Uhhhh yeah my parents fucked…well okay, I’m proud

Your parents fucked too

And their parents

And their parents

So many generations of people

Worked to the bone

Dead and gone

To produce you

And you want to say all odd their lives

All of their accomplishments

All of their sacrifice

Is the peak of your life goals?

What a waste of time and space

Star Blind

There’s no place for me here

My rounded curves getting cut by the jagged edges of your pieces

Every moment I’m here, I bleed

This isn’t my time to shine

My Photalgia driving stardom’s spotlight spikes deep into my mind’s eye

Every moment im here, I’m blind

Why is it I who must give up his sight?

Why is it I who must give up his dreams?

Why is it I who must keep giving?

While you Take

And you Take

And you Take