Sitting down in a box
My being constricts
Suffocatingly close
Pressing from all sides
The darkness is sinking in
My knees press up
Suffocatingly close
pressing from all sides
Back curling in now
To fit within
Suffocatingly close
Pressing from all sides
I put myself here
The more I take
The smaller my space
But I need more
The more I take
The smaller the space
Suffocatingly close
Pressing from all sides
Hidden recorder okay alright I see what you’re saying but it doesn’t really make sense okay alright that’s funny man you really have no sense no really nothing you say makes any valid point I hope you lose your voice cuz you just said nothing at all yeah okay Alright Alright you’re getting ridiculous yeah okay okay alright I don’t really even know what you’re saying yeah okay alright alright just give up you got nothing okay sure so that’s the answer that’s the meaning of it all that’s the reason you wrote on this wall okay so I don’t really have anything to contribute I just don’t even know what you’re saying Apollo and empty and useless for this having an opinion and see-sawing around that’s really all I’ve got
Releasing my thoughts to the ether
Sharing my beliefs with the world
Pink and new and all about you
Let’s celebrate your enlightenment!
Bow down to revel in my opinion
Kneel before my words
I’m the only one that’s right
Where is your appreciation?
What do you mean there’s another way?
Don’t try to tell me different
I don’t care what you have to say
Don’t try and tell me what you know
Don’t try and share a better way
I fear I’ll lose myself, I’m so important
Reaching out to touch another
Feeling restrained
Prevented from extending
Beyond my tunnel
By a film of mental mucus
A membrane of restraint
Within myself
If it breaks, is it release?
To freedom or insanity
Release from my own bindings or
Losing myself in the swarm?
No connection with anyone
Destraught, withdrawn, in solitary
Webs of my beliefs,
Prevent me from seeing your side
I could shred them, but would I still exist?
No connection to anyone
Distraught, withdrawn alone
Can’t find my feeling to be whole
Don’t try and tell me what you know
I can’t hear beyond my own thoughts anyway
Don’t try and share a better way
I fear I’ll lose myself,
I’m so important
My fear blinds me to the thought
That I can be wrong
Your opinion is an affront to my well being
Don’t try and tell me what you think
Unless you’ve got the same opinion
I broker no objections
I cannot accept that which does not reside within my head
Follow my words or cease existing
No thought
No opinion
No belief
Except my own
Reaching out to touch another
Feeling restrained
Prevented from extending
Beyond my tunnel
By a film of mental mucus
A membrane of restraint
Within myself
If it breaks, is it release?
To freedom or insanity
Release from my own bindings or
Losing myself in the swarm?
No connection with anyone
Destraught, withdrawn, in solitary
Webs of my beliefs,
Prevent me from seeing your side
I could shred them, but would I still exist?
No connection to anyone
Distraught, withdrawn alone
Can’t find my feeling to be whole
Don’t try and tell me what you know
I can’t hear beyond my own thoughts anyway
Don’t try and share a better way
I fear I’ll lose myself,
I’m so important
My fear blinds me to the thought
That I can be wrong
Your opinion is an affront to my well being
Don’t try and tell me what you think
Unless you’ve got the same opinion
I broker no objections
I cannot accept that which does not reside within my head
Follow my words or cease existing
No thought
No opinion
No belief
Except my own
(written around 2000)
The Con of Side Rationing
Consider your friends,
Thinking on their terms.
Yet you leave something out,
Cuz you’re thinking for them.
The Con of Side Rationing
divvying up feelings
hiding the truth
even though not telling is the equal to lying
Consider this
Consider that
Consideration holds us all back
Consider yourSELF
Thinking on your own
Yet you keep realizing
That not everything is out
The Con of Side Rationing
a piece for you
a piece for me
a piece for me
a piece for you
Seems unfair to never open your heart
Not what’s what’s within
Keeping yourSELF under lock & key
Consider peace
Consider war
Peace is just so difficult
Considerations must be met
War is so much easier
Attacking is a cry for help
Peace, is my choice in its time
Though I’ve attacked enough
to know when to say when
It’s the Con of the Side Rationing
that keeps it all away
Consider me
Consider you
What’s inside me I share with you
Keeping truth above exaltation
And you…you
Consider
Consider that the time is near
Consider that which you fear
Let go of both
and you will see
That the only time they bind you
is when you won’t set them free
Convenience Whores
The over simplification
of life Personified
When even life choices
are left to the most
comfortable of rides
Take the easy way out
Go with what’s in front of you
No reason to drown in a drought
When you just take what’s given
May as well take the life your sold
Why keep diggin you’ve found coal
don’t strive for gold
Hey! Obesity in a famine
that’s the way to go!
So much easier to eat poison
than save up for t-bone
Let’s just go with what we’re taught
Just ignore that highest thought
Go with the choices that have been
made for you
Stick with your opinions to others,
ignore you
Why take love?
When you can have lust?
Lust is so much easier to sate
Hell, why does love even rate?
Better to live in a hole
than to have to work to elevate
Take the easy way out
live the life you’ve
already been sold on
Why make a choice?
Live out decisions
that reach back to forefathers
Think I’m going to start
rounding the corners
make the triad into a circle
Cuz I can see the convenience
of buying a whore
Least you’d get what you expect
Well… In one aspect
Least she won’t tell your
heart anything you need to reject
and if you tip her well
at least she’ll pretend to show you
respect.
6 years to a 6 year old feels like forever,
6 years to a 60 year old goes by in a flash,
The longer life lasts, the shorter it feels.
The more time that’s passed, the shorter the reels.
A year in the corporate rat race flies by so quick.
A year within prison passes so slow in the thick.
Unfocused, experience passes through like oil through a sieve.
Time with no purpose, the experience leaves but a residue.
A day for an addict is a string of flashes in the pan, a short snort, a quick nip.
The same day to a counselor, a stitched together quilt of recovery visits.
Filling the day seeking to fill an imagined hole.
Whether in one’s self or trying to help another feel whole.
That glorious moment of birth, first light, first breath, first scream.
The sweet second of death, last shudder, last gasp, last scene.
One closing the loop of the other, making partial complete.
Both a part of the same strip running from eyes alight to the last lids droop.
In the coming months, I will be moving. When that occurs, I will be giving another shot at UV Orange Coolant. It appears that pretty much everyone has gotten out of the market of making it anymore, so I’m rolling the dice on a brand that I don’t know as well.
Until then, here’s the latest couple of updates.
So I received my order for the Primochill UV Orange Dye today. Strangely….just like the UV Orange Coolant, the UV on the packaging was marked out with black marker. I still added the dye, it at least improved the color, but is definately not UV reactive….e-mail sent to http://www.performance-pcs.com . yay fun. I have also sent my 3rd e-mail and tried to call about the broken cathode that I received, but still not response from http://www.adorama.com .
On the plus side, my 3 new fans came in. I’m setting them up to specifically be quiet. They are the same as the 3 intake fans that I have set up for the radiator in color. 2 are 120mm and 1 is 140mm. They work great at least.
Soooo, there’s a few delays, I’m still waiting for the UV Orange Dye. It doesn’t look like I’ll be able to get the side window for the 915, upper portion of the case. Coolermaster seems to have abandoned the case altogether and doesn’t even have replacement parts. I’m tempted to mod it myself, but with it being my first attempt at a side panel mod, I’d at least like to have a back up. I had a 3rd cathode coming in, but it came in broken, sooo waiting on the customer support of Adorama.
While waiting I found a deal on a G.Skill Ripjaws KM780 RGB (brown switches for around $100 after some running around), so I picked it up. I’ve been running a Steelseries 6GV2 (black switches) for several years, but the “C” key seems to over poll and I’ve had issues with that keyboard since purchase. I’ve also owned a Steelseries Apex (rubber domes and it was soooo wide), a Corsair RBG Red (never worked as I wished it to and returned to Best Buy), and a Corsair with brown switches (LEDs started dying within a day and they couldn’t replace the board with the exact same one, so I got a refund from Corsair). Anyways, I also wanted orange LEDs, but despite paying $50 more for a Ducky Shine 4, I would have to go RGB. For RBGs I was considering this G.Skill, the silent switch Corsair Strafe (currently only available at Best buy for ~$160) or a Ducky Shine 5 with Natural White Cherry MX switches (first RGB on switch for Cherry), running around $160 on eBay. I didn’t go with this just because it was cheaper, but I liked the extra buttons, the design and its basically comparable the rest of the keyboards (okay, supposedly Corsair’s software has improved over my previous experience and supposedly better than the G.Skill’s software, but to be honest, I just set this keyboard up and it did exactly what I wanted with no issues). The better benefit of the Ducky Shine 5 is that there is not “key bleed” (light shining outside of the keys, the Natural Whites only shine through the key itself, so that it highlights just the character).
Another fun thing was pH testing ORANGE water….no matter what I did the results were orange…so with a suggestion from my friend [XMEN]Gambit, I went with a digital pH meter.
Now for pictures and a couple of videos:
While wrapping up installation, I’ve discovered that I the fluid I received is not UV reactive. I’m working on getting some die, but since that will take awhile I’ve started cleaning up the install and installing lights. I have another 2 15″ UV bulbs incoming and I’ll be working on getting couple of more case fans to replace the stock fans.
Nilk's Place 